he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
