I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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