"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
