So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
