booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
