So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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