No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the condom got lost in my hair
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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