..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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