I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
