from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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