i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
