i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
