she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
