just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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