dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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