i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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