i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
