So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
