No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize