Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize