cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
