So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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