D3 body, D1 cock
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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