i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
