4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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