Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
