and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
