I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
