thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
