You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
