There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
