garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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