whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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