Sponge bath it is.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's blow job season.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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