Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
