In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
