On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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