can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize