apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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