Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
