I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
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Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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