...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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