Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
its not stalking. its research.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
