and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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