capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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