This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
