Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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