Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
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He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.