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if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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