everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster