He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
