I'm jealous of your bromance
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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