How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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