If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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