the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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