You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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