Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
