I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
