im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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