So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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