yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
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Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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